Episode 34:

November 29th, 2025. I'm single again, surprise!

In relationships you either succeed or fail together. So I guess we've failed.

Around 12:30PM I received the news and I met it with shock. I didn't know how to react.  All I was met with was a burning weight deep in my chest and the back of my head while Alice was crying and apologizing profusely of the outcome.  We would have continued the conversation but I thought it was something we needed to walk away from and return to at 2PM. We did and it was still met with the same result. I dumbfounded and Alice weeping on the other end.

Following I looked for ways to distract myself but nothing worked.  I felt dead inside and I was too distracted by my own turmoil.  I found some solace talking to a friend over the phone trying to analyze the situation. 

What could I have done differently?
Why didn't I cry?
-I knew it was there but the question was when? I was a ticking time bomb.
Is this better for the both of us?
-Did we rush into this relationship?
My faults in the relationship.
My stubbornness.

My mind even headed down other roads:
Is there someone else?
Was this relationship doomed from the start?

I started looking for people to blame when in reality it's probably just a relationship that just didn't work out.

Later that night it was a friends birthday dinner and I decided I wasn't going to sulk, sulk alone that is. I wanted to be with my people but I didn't want to talk about it. So I kept silent.

1. It was a birthday dinner.
2. I wasn't ready to talk period. And I don't know if I ever will be thus this blog.

During the dinner I found myself starring off into the distance not knowing what I was thinking.  I just found comfort looking out into the void. Was I thinking about Alice? Yes, some thoughts having clear direction but most not.  In the middle of one of my gazes I was met with the question, "So when are you headed to Boston, Don?" I answered almost unable to get this full statement out while my face began to squish, "I'm not, Alice and I broke up... sorry excuse me." I then rushed to the bathroom on the verge of breaking down.  It was the first time that day I was almost driven to tears and if I started there I knew I wouldn't be able to stop.  I gathered myself and returned stating quickly punctually, "We broke up, I don't want to talk about it right now." Without a word everyone agreed and took tangents to other conversations. 

I continued to find myself starring off into the distance more and more losing chunks of conversation trying to stay engaged but mostly with no avail. 

Once I got home I received messages from all my friends from dinner with words of encouragement.

I "slept" and now I'm here.  Listening to Christmas Lo-Fi and writing this blog.

November 30th, 2025. 9:24AM I shed my first tears.

Episode 33: Marathon #4 LAM

This is my 4th marathon and my 2nd within 4 months. I ran CIM in December and I wanted to qualify for Boston but I was injured the 3 weeks leading up to that marathon but I definitely wasn't ready to hit the mark of under 3 hours. BUT that didn't not stop me from trying.  I went out in the first 3 miles under 7 minute mile pace and I slowly faded till the half marathon at 1:39 and that's when I decided to shut it down and try my luck at LA Marathon.

My training was more consistent but I never got the speed I wanted. I ended up hitting a 70 mile week 6 weeks out from LAM so I decide to take the next week super easy and did strength training. Ironically the strength training ended up flaring my knee with what appeared to be the same injury before CIM. I decide to take a 2 week break but I still feel hurt so I see a friend about my knee and find out that it was runners knee and he gave me some exercises to help.  The pain subsided but my knee is still super sour and weak in the leading weeks before the marathon.  The goal for LA was now to PR and finish.  My first two marathons I did not properly train for them.  I really just ran them so my PR was 3:51:36. Here is the break down of my race: 

Pre-race it was nice finding some familiar faces from Koreatown Run Club for me to relax and talk with before the race started. I lined up with the 4 hour 40 minute pace group because that was the farthest up I could get.

MILE 1	8:26	At the start of the race I found myself weaving in and out trying to find an opening to faster pace groups. Mainly to find the 3:30 pace group. During this time I packed up with KRC runners. I also ended up taking a 2 minute break to pee before mile 2. I didn't find the 3:30 pace group but I felt myself at a comfortable pace that wasn't too slow so I held that. ALSO Found Lu running along side me on the sidewalk during this stretch!
MILE 2	7:43
MILE 3	8:03
MILE 4	7:30	Got a little excited this mile. 💋
MILE 5	7:54	At the start of mile 5 I saw my split for mile 4 and knew I needed to settle down. During this stretch I was just trying to enjoy the race and running with acquaintances from KRC was nice which helped with my pacing during this time.
MILE 6	7:54
MILE 7	7:42
MILE 8	7:49
MILE 9	7:57
MILE 10	7:44
MILE 11	7:38
MILE 12	7:41	THE VASELINE THAT SAVED LIVES. At this point I was feeling the need to reapply some Vaseline and this women had a poster of it so I slapped her poster and applied it immediately. No shame. I hit a second wind. Also popped two Advil.
MILE 13	7:50	This is where I caught the 3:30 pace group and it brought me to a crossroads. Do I stick with them? or push it? I felt confortable so I decided to go a little faster.
MILE 14	7:51
MILE 15	7:23	Here I feel strong but I still knew the goal was to finish. Once I pass mile 18 I get worried about how down hill it is since from mile 18 - 22 it'll be a there and back meaning what I see at mile marker 18-19 will be the finish of the race. I catch the 3:20 pacer.
MILE 16	7:41
MILE 17	7:54
MILE 18	7:37
MILE 19	7:47
MILE 20	7:54	Mile 20 & 21 were the problem. There was a slight incline for these two miles and it was probably the least populated with spectators. I start to really feeling the pain of the end.
MILE 21	8:22
MILE 22	7:58	Mile 22 is when we started seeing loads of spectators and finally I saw the Bravo zone with KRC. It was cool seeing the turnout but unfortunately I didn't really know anyone there and I wasn't wearing a KRC singlet to get any big cheers. Once Mile 23 began was the turn around and fortunately it was a subtle downhill to mile 25. I used this to recharge for the finish.
MILE 23	8:09
MILE 24	8:08
MILE 25	7:46	For the last two miles I knew if I started walking that would end me so I did everything in my power to keep running. At the start of mile 25 I start getting all of this pain on the outside of my left foot. I feel like it was going to break so I had to change my running form to alleviate the pain. I now believe the problem is peroneal tendonitis.
MILE 26	7:57
FINISH	3:28:24	I didn't cramp or walk for the entire run but I did almost cramp at the very end because when I saw that finish line I started to try to really push it and my body said "no". I'm so proud of myself for finishing this one. I showed myself how much grit I have and that I can still perform under the circumstances I was in for this race.

I realized that the 3:20 and 3:30 pacers were around 10 minutes off their marks since I finished with the 3:20 pacer. 

I only stopped at around mile 2 to pee but otherwise I ran the whole way and I didn't cramp. At every water station I made sure to try to take 2 big gulps of water while running past any water station so I'm sure that tributed to me not cramping during the run.

Looking at today Wednesday 3/20 I'm feeling some sourness but I'm oddly able to run and move pretty well.  I think these are just good signs that I can do more. Looking at my mile splits I'm pretty even throughout my entire run.  I'll continue to aim for sub 3 hours but for now I don't have any marathon plans for the future... yet.

Right now I'll continue to find my joy in running, eat properly, and try to build up my speed. 

 

 

Episode 32: Marathon #3 XC

 
My goals for this race: (Order of importance)
1. NOT hurt myself
2. Finish the race
3. Go for a Boston Qualifier

Two weeks leading up to the race I'm pretty sure I got Sciatica.

Sciatica: pain affecting the back, hip, and outer side of the leg, caused by compression of a spinal nerve root in the lower back, often owing to degeneration of an intervertebral disk.

Although I didn't know until the Wednesday before the race.  I only ran a total of maybe 15 miles in those two weeks because I was scared of hurting myself further. Would I have done better at CIM? Yes.  Would I have qualified to Boston if I had? Probably not. I think the best I could have done would have been 3 hours and 20 minutes (7:37 mile pace) but the Boston Qualifier is under 3 hours (6:52 mile pace) so I would have went out the same either way.

Here is my mile by mile summary:

DISTANCE	MILE SPLITS	TOTAL TIME
MILE 1	6:52		Even in this first mile my hips felt so tight
MILE 2	7:04		I found a glove but chose not to pick it up this time
MILE 3	7:08		I already lost Peter by this time and decided to hold back since I'm already feeling twitching in my calf. ALSO, I give my pants to RacheI, thanks Rachel!
5k		0:21:57
MILE 4	7:13		I had to pee soooo bad for the first 4 miles so I just stop and pee behind a tree. Take first gel.
MILE 5	7:37		Miles 5-13 its a lot of me trying to hold on and struggle to put something together. Still a lot of tightness in my hips
MILE 6	7:25
10k		44:52:00
MILE 7	7:27
MILE 8	7:41		take 2nd gel
MILE 9	7:56
15k		1:09:02
MILE 10	7:48		We run through Fair Oaks, cute town.
MILE 11	7:56
MILE 12	8:11		take 3rd gel
MILE 13	8:19
HALF		1:39:37	Half Marathon PR (I've only ran one official half marathon race though)
MILE 14	9:25		double quad cramp!
MILE 15	9:55		Right calf cramp. take 4th gel.
25k		2:02:23
MILE 16	11:08		I make the decision to not run through the pain and to avoid getting hurt as much as possible. If I felt a cramp coming I would stop immediately to avoid injuring myself. So there was a lot of walking in mile 16 to the finish.
MILE 17	11:12		take 5th gel
MILE 18	11:21
30k		2:37:53
MILE 19	12:25
MILE 20	12:35		Take 6th and final gel
MILE 21	12:46
35k		3:16:42
MILE 22	12:13
MILE 23	13:21
MILE 24	11:30		"Hey Donut you got it!"
40k		3:54:26
MILE 25	10:53
MILE 26	12:22
FINISH		4:10:15	The End... Or the beginning of LA Marathon TRAINING

The reason I signed up for this race was to qualify for Boston so I made sure I prepped that day as if I was.  I attacked the race with that intention but unfortunately I'm just not strong enough yet.  I signed up for this race in January 2023 but the 2022-2023 school year I lost a lot of my fitness since I was so focused on work and was plagued by injury.  I didn't get solid training until the last 4 months and it wasn't even good marathon training either. It was more that I felt good about running again for the first time in a long time.

I knew it would be a long shot that I qualify for Boston so I was prepared to hold it back once I definitely knew I had no chance of qualifying.  At that point the goal would be to SURVIVE and finish without hurting myself.  Coming into this race I didn't even think I would finish because of my sciatica. I'm still very proud of my run and that I went in with intention and shot my shot.  I learned a lot  and will now prep myself for the LA Marathon to shoot my shot again. Next week will start my training to give myself some well needed rest.

On the BRIGHTEST side my friend Peter qualified with a minute to spare! So proud of you buddy!  LETS GO!

Watch Peter's finish here!

The start:

MILE 2.8

Episode 30: My Second Marathon

If you asked me a week before the LA Marathon I would have told you I wasn't running.

I signed up approximately 6 months before the race but I suffered 2-3 injuries on the way there.  As the race got closer it became less and less about time and became more about "can I finish the race?".  With a month to go I ended up hurting my ankle from over use. Every run since then I would start feeling my ankle by mile 4 but I continued to strengthen my ankle by doing calf raises, icing and heating whenever I had the chance.  With a week to go I was pretty set on not running and I was heartbroken by that decision.  With a last ditch effort I decided to try a 10 mile run the Thursday before the marathon.  I proceeded to do 5 miles without pain then stopped to stretch to give myself a little rest before the next 5 miles.  The next 5 miles I felt great and was sub 7:20 per mile.  From there I decided I would try to run on Sunday.  But going into Sunday my goal was to get to mile 16 and see how I felt.

Here is my mile by mile split from Sunday:

MILE	TIME	SUMMARY
1-3	00:23:35	My plan was to go out in 9 minute mile pace.  Yeah, I didn't do that.  I struggled to find the mile markers and ended up going sub 8 minute mile pace for the 1st three miles.  A fun little bit that happened in the first half mile of the race was the line of men peeing off to the side of the road by some "wooded" area.
4	00:31:37 (8:01)	I try to recalibrate here and cool myself off from the nerves.
5	00:40:37  (9:00)	I get cool and relaxed.(Take gel shot)
6	00:48:18  (7:40)	I'm easily excited.
7	00:56:15 (7:58)	Yep, still excited. (Take gel shot)
8	01:04:12  (7:55)	Stig and Punky!  What hill?!  i'm definitely excited!
9	01:12:31  (8:18)	Chill out Don...
10	01:20:28  (7:56)	Oh my god.
11	01:28:31  (8:03)	I started talking out loud telling myself to chillout.
12	01:36:39  (8:07)	I see one of my students and sarcastically asked him why he wasn't cheering for me.  What nerve?! (Take gel shot)
13	01:44:54  (8:14)	At the half I just feel tired but I keep truckin' along.
14	01:53:22  (8:28)	The adrenaline starts to wear down.  It only took half a marathon. (Take gel shot)
15	02:01:44  (8:21)	I see a co-worker at the end of this mile!
16	02:10:49  (9:05)	meh
17	02:21:03  (10:13)	I start stretching to gauge how I'm really feeling. Hey I see another family from our school!
18	02:30:37  (9:34)	And I start to see that there are rolling hills and I'm starting to feel a cramp coming on so I take plenty of time to just walk and stretch (Take gel shot)
19	02:41:18  (10:40)	Same deal.  I'm really worried about cramping
20	02:51:48  (10:30)	I take a water from a kid no older than 3 and it really pumped him up!
21	03:05:11  (13.22)	Worried about the hills again so I really took a breather here
22	03:13:34 (9:23)	The hills were done so I started trying to pick up the pace again and I see my friend Bryan here so I start to get amped up again!
23	03:26:44  (12:09)	I hit another wall here and I start walking.
24	03:35:47  (9:03)	I gather myself and try to pick the pace up and I see Sparta and Jeff!
25	03:45:34  (9:47)	Theres two miles left so I decided to just put my head down and try to finish.
26	3:55:49  (10:15)	My calves start to cramp so I try to focus on not putting pressure on my toes too much til the finish.

Once I got to mile 16 I reassessed and I wasn't feeling pain but my legs were just feeling really tired so I decided to go on.

From mile 16-18 I felt alright and actually stopped a couple times to stretch a little bit and actually felt ok.  Once I started Mile 19 it was very stop and go up all the way to the finish where I would stop at up hills in fear of cramping out my calves. 

All in all I am extremely proud of finishing.  I really needed a "win" right now and this was definitely it.

I'm pumped to start my training up again this week to make running a more consistent part of my life.  LETS GO!